label (la·bel | \ ˈlā-bəl) n. a classifying phrase or name applied to a person or thing, especially one that is inaccurate or restrictive v. to assign to a category, especially inaccurately or restrictively.

What Labels Are

Labels are often mental constructs of what we perceive as reality, or how we explain the reality we’re experiencing to ourselves.

And while using these labels may make us feel like we’re expressing something objectively true we’ve discovered about our reality, more often than not, using labels can have the opposite effect, and lead us further away from understanding what’s happening right in front of our very eyes.

Labeling Our Dogs

A good example is a dog whose behavior causes us to label him/her as any one of the following:

Stubborn
Dominant
Lazy
Aggressive

In my experience, dog parent will usually give their dog one of the labels above when they feel like their dog either isn’t listening to them or doing something they’ve asked him/her to do.

For example, how often have you heard any of the following? (either in a flabbergasted or “isn’t she so cute, tho?” tone):

“My dog doesn’t come when I call her, she’s so stubborn!”
“God, my dog is so dominant with me when out on walks. She’s just constantly pulling on the leash and going wherever SHE wants to go!”
“My dog just won’t walk on leash sometimes. He’s so lazy!
“I have an aggressive dog, particularly around men he doesn’t know.”

Why Labeling Comes Naturally To Us

It’s not surprising why many dog parents find it so natural and easy to label their dog in this way: we’ve all been doing it since we were babies.

Starting at a very young age, as we learn to talk and to comprehend language, our brains are wired to look for patterns and to lump together words that seem to be related in their meaning or their usage.

In fact, one of the first things that we, as babies, learn is that a label is associated with an object (i.e. “this round thing is a ball”). Soon thereafter, babies will try to find other examples of that object (i.e. “this non-round oval thing (a football) is also a ball”).

This ability to make these generalizations helps us immensely to function and navigate life, but problems start to occur when we start over-generalizing, and mislabeling things as a result (i.e. thinking that an apple is a ball, too).

But despite many of us already knowing this, at least theoretically, we still over-generalize a lot, and for good reason, not only because the price of being wrong can sometimes be higher than the price of being right (“better safe than sorry!”), but because the world is an incredibly complex and ever-changing place.

And if you really think about it, isn’t the temptation to resort to labels the highest when reality is so complex that it overwhelms us psychologically, or when we feel like we don’t have the cognitive tools to assess in a fair measure what is happening?

In essence, we often use labels, in large part, to achieve a level of mental certainty about a complex and uncertain reality, and in so doing, assert some level of control over our lives.

What Labeling Our Dogs Does To Us

“When we expect certain behaviors of others, we are likely to act in ways that make the expected behavior more likely to occur.” (Rosenthal and Babad, 1985)

And this desire to use labels is ever present in our relationships with our dogs.

Calling your dog “stubborn”, for example, for not coming when called, is an easy, tidy and convenient way for you to make sense of...why your dog is not coming when called.

The problem is that the reality of the situation is not always so simple.

You see, whenever you apply a label to your dog, it prevents you from:

Considering alternative explanations for their behavior
Trying to change their behaviors because your attitudes and behaviors towards them reflect the fact that you don’t think they’re capable of it (see: Golem Effect)
Examining how your actions (or inactions) are contributing to the issue
Seeing your dog as a complex and uniquely beautiful living being, as opposed to a simple and defective one that was put on this Earth to deliberately infuriate, frustrate, and annoy you
Viewing yourself as an empowered individual capable of changing your circumstances and your reality

But perhaps most consequentially, it prevents you from recognizing the fact that you probably haven’t put in enough work to properly train them yet.

Aliens & Handstands

Think about it this way: Imagine that one day, out of the blue, you were kidnapped by aliens while out on a run during the middle of the night and quickly whisked away to their home planet.

Once there, you find yourself in a world where everything you know about life, culture, and appropriate behavior is essentially useless.

For example, in this world, unbeknownst to you at first, you greet someone, not by shaking their hand, but by doing a handstand in front of them, as they do the same.

And so, to help you integrate into their society, your alien handlers decide that they’re going to teach you how to greet someone in their customary way.

Unfortunately, they don’t speak your language, and you don’t speak theirs.

Unfazed, your handlers attempt to teach you using alternative methods, but because of a variety of factors (your arms are weak, you’re nervous and scared, they’re not good teachers, etc.), they are unsuccessful at teaching you this behavior.

Now, at this point, would it be completely fair if the aliens dubbed you a stubborn Earthling, who they believe is capable of performing this most basic of behaviors (to them at least), but is simply refusing to do so?

Furthermore, would that label accurately define the objective reality of the situation?

My point is, that many of the behaviors that characterize a “good dog” to us, is not natural dog behavior to them (like walking nicely by your side on a loose leash while out on walks), and the most likely reason your dog is incapable of doing what you want is due to a lack of consistent and deliberate training.

Being Mindful Of The Labels We Use

I say all that to say that we need to become more aware of the labels that we put on our dogs, because, like in the example above, the reality of the situation is probably far more complex.

So I invite you to take a note the next time you label your dog and ask yourself what purpose you believe the label you’ve chosen to understand your dog and the situation in front of you serves for you?

Could you work through the situation without the label and instead proactively, and with compassion, teach, coach and guide your dog towards success?

What are your thoughts on labels and how you use them?

Happy training!

On ‘Stubborn’ Dogs And Other Labels